Monday, October 30, 2006

what has happened?

I have to admit, I'm a little scared about Lil Kims's recent appearance. She's looking like my crazy Aunt Cuca and I'm just waiting for her to try to kiss me and feed me cajeta.

I mean have you seen her? She looks like a ghetto leprechaun lately, and I've seen Leprechaun in the Hood (tagline: Evil is in the house!). Hey folks, I had to see it! When I heard there were Zombie Fly Girls in it, I was camped out in advance. Anyway, we're here to talk about Lil Kims in an effort to figure out what the heck they did to her in jail to make her look like some crazy ass Dynasty extra.

Here we see Ms. Kims being the total hot bitch that we love. She's trying to escape from mr Giant Booty, but totally can't run because she's wearing shoes that make no sense (clue #1 that she's not a lesbian. But wait, if she ate carpet in jail and stopped, does that make her a has-bian??). I love her, but her bikini bottom looks like she's packing more than labia down there. Oh well, I can still forgive her because bitch is hot and I'd switch for her, but only if she drove a monster truck to pick me up for the prom.

Oh yeah, this is Classic Kims, looking like the cheeriest leather tranny in the world on the red carpet. You know they looked her up and down and said "Folsom street is 800 miles north and you need to shave closer next time."

What's not to love though? Still, you know she buys her weave at the mattel Barbie factory . DON'T CUT ME LIL KIMS I LOVE YOU.

See, the change starts happening once the court problems of the past year and a half pop up. She tried to clean up her image or something, and she ended up looking like a ... like... *sob*

A backup singer. (note: blogger won't let me upload photos for some reason, so I'm adding links.)

And now she's out of jail, and I thought we'd see a great big Lil Kims-plosion of awesomeness, but instead we get this. That is NOT GOOD, YOUNG LADY. Surriously, she looks like she just stepped off of Gloria Estefan's 1986 TimeWarp Tour bus. We warned you Kims, that the rhythm was going to get you, but did you listen??

She needs to sit down with Mary J and Rupaul for an intervention. I want THIS KIM back. Please?
© 2006 CH


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