Wednesday, August 30, 2006

omgwtfbbq??

Where have I been y'all? I don't even know. I got a little bit sick and then I come back and find that my homegirl is now the Diane Fosse of the crazy people crack shack and whore emporium (I say that with love, gurl, you know I do! you're diane fosse, not one of the crazies!).

Well, I do love hearing about the folk that live in Chili's world... but let's talk about sane people for a while!

Hmm...no, wait, that's not right. This bitch is just not right with Jesus. Or Xenu. Or Xena, for that matter. I hear he's apologized to Brooke Shields; that's good. I wonder why he did it though? Ho should apologize to Matt Lauer (who, by the way, is a total DILSO) (suck off, bitches, I don't do anal).


OH HOLY SHIT IT'S A GAY BLACK VIKING DEVIL!! No.. that's just Foofy Foo. Whew, thank Shiva he's not gay.

Well dang, it looks like we have no one to talk about... La Gayken has dropped off the map, probably gone back to his original career as a Celine Dion impersonator; and my own personal lord and savior Lil' Kims has disappeared. Where's the revolution Ms. Kims, where??

© 2006 CH

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Somebody get these people a nerve pill, STAT!!

Haaaaaaaay ya'll!! I had a KILLER birthday yesterday! I got a University of Texas wall clock, some cash, a novelty bar of soap, these cool kinda like playing cards about women who have made a difference in society and...my sister took me to dinner!! It was a good day.

I have finals this week, along with all this insanity. So, the following picture pretty much fits me!

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© 2006 BMD

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Ummmm.....ok

Just so ya'll know...I can see who has been visiting this web site. I sure am getting a LOT of hits from Oklahoma Ciry and Kansas City...so...I know you're watching! HAHAHAHA!!
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© 2006 BMD

Oh HELL!

Oooooh ya'll!! So, I got moved in yesterday. I'm all set up. I gots me a bed, a TV/DVD combo, my desk and chair and tons o'storage! And I've got a mini-fridge and my coffee pot, too, so I can drink my snooty-ass flavored coffee. Oh, and there is an easy chair, too. Gurl, there is an older black lady that does the cooking, and I don't think I've had food that good since I last ate at Hoover's in Austin! I lurves me some soul food! You just KNOW I'ma get more fat than I already am!

I don't mean to sound uppity, because I'm not, but I am the most intelligent and educated of all the clients, and I am the most functional. We have one that's a drooler, a couple that walk and talk to themselves, and a couple that are just kinda slow. I will SO tell you stories once I get a grip of the schedule. My next door neighbor is as quiet as a mouse, gurl! And of course, I will be using pseudonyms for their names, because it just isn't kosher to violate their privacy. I wouldn't want anyone to break mine, so I'll do the same out of respect.

It's sad when the bed here sleeps better than my own, but it does. I didn't even make it till 10pm last night. I was so exhausted, I basically just dropped. Gurl, then the staff knocked on my door at 6AM!! Normally, I would have gone ape shit, but I didn't want a shot in the butt of something that would knock me out. However, nice as it would be, I had two assignments due today, so I needed to stay alert.

Ok babies, I'll find a story to write about for tomorrow...in "Tales From A Crazy Place: The Lithium Chronicles".
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© 2006 BMD

Friday, August 04, 2006

Ribbed...for somebody's damn pleasure

I swear, ya'll...I really don't go looking for this stuff. I just seems to find me. Oh...and where do I sign up? LOL

Fri Aug 4, 11:34 AM ET LONDON (Reuters) - Hundreds of Britons are being urged to attend what is being branded as Europe's first "Masturbate-a-thon", a leading reproductive healthcare charity said on Friday.

Marie Stopes International, which is hosting the event with HIV/AIDS charity the Terrence Higgins Trust, said it expected up to 200 people to attend the sponsored masturbation session in Clerkenwell, central London, on Saturday. (Only 200? Now that's a damn shame!)

"It is a bit of a publicity stunt but we hope it will raise awareness" (it's gonna raise something, gurl!), a Marie Stopes spokeswoman told Reuters. "We want to get people talking about safer sex, masturbation and to lift taboos." (I'm not shaking ANYBODY'S hand after this!!)

Participants, who have to be over 18, can bring any aids they need (for some reason, I am NOT touching that statement) and can take part in four different rooms -- a comfort area, a mixed area, along with men and women only areas (how lovely!). However, the rules on the event's Web site states there can be no touching of other participants nor are people allowed to fake orgasms. (What the fuck?!?! How will they know if a woman is faking? Is there some sort of medical device to test for a real orgasm?)

"The amount you raise will be determined by how many minutes you masturbate and/or how many orgasms you achieve," the Web site said. (I'm getting tired and I need a ciggie after reading this) The Marie Stopes spokeswoman said local religious groups had been initially outraged, but after people had heard what the event was about, most had approved it. Police had also given it their approval. (They don't want no crust up in the jail!)

Similar events have been staged in San Francisco for the last six years raising $25,000 (13,000 pounds) for women's health initiatives and HIV prevention. If successful, Marie Stopes said it could take place elsewhere in mainland Europe next year.
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© 2006 BMD

Thursday, August 03, 2006

DAYUM!

Lawd, I am SO sorry, ya'll. It has just been a nuthouse up in here! Ok, so ANYway...well, we all know Mel Gibson is a prick, Pam Anderson and Kid Rock are skainky, Lohan will snort anything that won't snort her first AND Chili is moving.

Mmhmm...thas'right. I am going to be moving to another city on the 9th, so that's why I haven't posted anything in awhile. I've been busy arranging shit, signing forms, getting utilities turned on and what-not.

It's not exactly a break for freedom, but I'll finally have my own space...for a little while at least.
I'm going to be moving to an assisted living facility for people like me, who don't need to be in a nursing home, but can't live on their own because of disabilities.

My first residence is going to be at a facility for folks with mental illness. Don't be scurred, a little peace of mind, privacy, school, having room to breathe, my meds and of course, writing for you will be good for me.

GURL, you know I couldn't write some of this shit without being half crazy!

And I promise to post stories about the other people there, with pseudonyms. I guess I'll call it "Tales From a Crazy Place: The Lithium Chronicles". HAHAHAHAHAHA!! Basically, I plan to keep to myself and observe my fellow nutcases. Don't worry, I won't have a crazy roomate...I'll have my own space.

This will prove to be interesting, I'm sure! And so begins a new chapter of my life.
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© 2006 BMD