Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Gab With Gurl!!

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Dear Gurl,
help me. i am getting bullied reali badly. but it isnt any normal bullying. they bully me because i have started growing testicles. AND I AM A GURL!!! they fell out in the p:e chnaging rooms and i screamed. they punch me and everything calling me a man and stuff. what should i do? is it normal for a gurl?. from dearly unhappy. call me faith

Dear stupid fucking cunt,
First of all, get a dictionary and learn how to spell. Also, learn how to use punctuation properly. Shit, no wonder people punch your toe-up ass. Ok, listen VERY closely. You say you are growing testicles, right? And you say you're a "gurl". This is technically incorrect. Real "GURLS", such as myself, have BALLS, not testicles. Huge difference. So, they are calling you a man because your testicles are dropping, and that's when happens to men, dumb bitch. And what the fuck? You don't know how the hell to punch back? Go watch "The Crying Game" and shut the fuck UP! Oh, and where Jaye Davies tries to take his own life, you should too. But you should try really hard to succeed.
I don't have the time to REALLY go off on your ass because I have dinner reservations with friends, and I'm going to take a disco nap. Then, when I wake up, I'm going to call in my stylist, hairdresser and make-up artist and scream at them, because you have pissed me off.
You may have faith, but you are totally hopeless due to your sheer stupidity. It's disco nap time. Go away.

Love,
Gurl
© 2006 BMD

3 Comments:

Anonymous Bea Gass said...

your sensitivity knows no bounds......i am overwhelmed by your sweetness......not shaddap and gimme a smooch

7:58 PM PDT  
Blogger ChiliGurl said...

Awwww, thanks Bea!! I just knew that the anger management course I took would be helpful one day! *SMOOCH* ;-)

9:17 PM PDT  
Blogger Bedazzler said...

LOVES IT. Second huge belly laugh of the day. (the first was some crack about Chrustina Uglyarea smuggling 2 raisins out of her hotel. Just sayin'.)

1:43 AM PDT  

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