Friday, June 30, 2006

Starfucker Wars

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UPDATE: Ooooooooooh GURL!!! This just in from the wires: (well, as of Wednesday)
(Important stuff in red, my comments in blue)

Star Jones Reynolds was booted from "The View'' Wednesday, one day after surprising ABC and Barbara Walters by saying on the air that she wouldn't be returning to the daytime talk show in the fall.
Reynolds was quickly erased from the show's opening credits, now down to three women from the usual five.
Gurl, there IS a God!
"It is becoming uncomfortable for us to pretend that everything is the same at this table,'' said show creator Walters. "Therefore, regrettably, Star will no longer be on this program.''
Gurl, what really happened is ABC called fish eyes and told her not to bother coming into work today! Or ever again in her life!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
ABC had decided against renewing Reynolds' contract months ago and the show was planning to let Reynolds announce it later this week, according to Walters. Reynolds could say whatever she wanted to about why she was leaving, "and we would back her up,'' the longtime ABC newswoman said.
Instead, Walters said she felt blindsided when Reynolds broke the news Tuesday, then was quoted in People magazine as saying she felt like she was fired.
"We gave her time to look for another job and hoped that she would announce it on this program and leave with dignity,'' Walters said. "But Star made another choice.''
She's just pissed because her husband is gay AND because EVERYONE hates her ass!! That, and she knew she could NOT compete with the most obnoxious dyke on earth. Rosie. Or is it me? Hmmmm. I'm pretty sure that I'm more obnoxious, but I digress!!
Reynolds' spokesman (spokeswhore, as Michael K calls it) did not return calls and e-mails seeking comment.
Well, of course not!! I smell a fish-eyed bitch who's a lawyer (as if you hadn't heard THAT shit a million times) getting ready to sue some people!! She'll lose. As Madea says, "Hallelooyer!".
Walters didn't discuss on the air why Reynolds, an original cast member who's been on the show for nine years, wasn't being asked back. She said in an interview Tuesday that research showed audience members were turned off by Reynolds' dramatic weight loss and glitzy wedding to (gay) banker Al Reynolds in 2004.
Reynolds later retorted that TV ratings and her book sales indicated this wasn't true.
Um, yeah, you dumb bitch, it IS true!! And yo' gay-ass husband gonna leave yo' cancelled Payless Shoes contract ass too! Gurl, you KNOW your ass didn't buy shoes from there! But if you want great shoes, Starfucker, I know a FABULOUS place to get a pair of Jimmy Choo's for five dollahs!
"The View'' is bringing on Rosie O'Donnell to replace Meredith Vieira in September, and the hunt is now on for Reynolds' replacement. Walters said Reynolds may still appear on the show in recorded segments.
NOOOOOOOOOO!! You FIRED her ass, say NO to recorded segments!! Just say NO, Baba Wawa!! Ooooh, gurl!! You just KNOW Starfucker is gonna get all fat again and regret she spent all that money for her bariatric surgery. Diet and exercise my ass. Pffffft.
And oh, Starfucker, don't let the door hit you in your flabby ass as you leave. And take that damned bitch Nancy Grace with you. She's a lawyer (again, we've heard that shit a million times), too, ya' know!!
And WTF?!?! Is that an animal sewn into her crooked weave, or what?!?!
© 2006 BMD


Blogger Bedazzler said...

She looks just like Jabba the Hutt with a wig on. Al Reynolds married THIS? Did she, like DRUG him gurl?

2:07 AM PDT  

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