Saturday, June 03, 2006


Not since C-3PO has the world seen a gadget as gay as my new phone.

a little backstory... I've been a sprint customer for almost 8 years, not always happy, but still there. Every two years they would give me 200 bucks off of a phone in order to get me to sign a contract, and I kept on signing 'em. Anywhoodia, I got fed up with them and broke up with them a week ago.

A week without a cell phone nearly killed me; I kept patting my pants pockets looking for something phonelike. So yeah, I finally got new service. From cingular. I like 'em so far. But my phone!

Soooo gay. The only way it could be gayer would be if you wedged it delicately into Bobby Trendy's asscrack and then set off fireworks. So by now you guessed that I got the trendy and totally overdone pink Razr phone. Big woop, right? See, it's the ringtones that really make it gay.

Ugh, this post is boring me already. I can't talk about electronics for too long, cuz you know what? I don't really care. This is basically my way of telling Chili that "hey bitch, I lost my old phone and I need you to call me so that I can get your number again." So email and I'll give you my digits, and if you're lucky I'll talk to you like I'm lil' Kim and you're my Martha Stewart.

Why do I own so many pink appliances though? I don't even like pink.

Whatever happened to... with a segue into The Rules

News of the birth of Shiloh Nouvelle Cuisine Jolie-Pitt has totally eclipsed little Suri Cruise. Dang, not even a few months old and already she's relegated to supporting roles. Oh well, just keep in mind these rules for social interaction:

If you're hot, you can do whatever you want to whomever you want to do it to. This includes parking in handicapped spots and passing on STDs.

If you're not hot, you better be fucking witty, because the only way you'll get a hot piece of ass (like mine) is by trapping me with words.

If you're fat, you're required to be funny. I think that generations of selective breeding has actually made this a genetic reality; if you're fat, you're funny. I'm laughing at you, Perez, not with you.

Okay, I totes had images to upload to illustrate this, but blogger is not letting me upload. Gah. Okay, just imagine the funniest shit ever, like, right in there. Hahaha! Yeah, I rock!

© 2006 CH


Blogger The Breakdown said...

Breaking news...

Chuck is a BIG fag.

BIG one!

6:05 AM PDT  
Blogger Bedazzler said...

Lil Kims Watch UPDATE ploise!

7:32 AM PDT  

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