Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Charlie and the Dead Hooker Factory

I get update emails from The Smoking Gun website. I just LOVE their shit!! Well, yesterday I got an email telling me that the formal complaint against Charlie Sheen by his wife Denise Richards was up. Even though I can't tell which side I'm on (TEAM JOLIE...oh, wait...that has nothing to do with this), the story is a lovely tale of fucked up!! Gurl, she accuses him of gambling, screwing hookers, prescription drug abuse (please, gurl...if you are gonna abuse drugs, do it the right way...with coke or crystal or something), physical and mental abuse and she also asked him about a dead hooker named Chloe that he had supposedly used and if he had anything to do with her death. And the hooker had demanded money or she was gonna go to the tabloids. Um, hello? The clue phone...it's a'ringin', gurl!!
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But see...I wanna know who the law clerk or whoever at her lawyer's office wrote that shit up. They can't fucking spell Xanax!! They wrote that shit as "Zanax" or "Zanex" or something. Also, they need to learn the use of a conjunction!! Conjunction Junction, what's yer damn function? Hmmmph...they need to view the Schoolhouse Rock cartoon on cunjunctions, gurl. Damn, I knew what that shit was when I was like five years old!!
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Ya'll have GOT to read all about it...all I can say is if this story is true, they need to make a movie called "Charlie and They Passed Out Crazy That Day Factory"!! Or some kinda shit like that. But where the hell were Emilio and Martin during the intervention, Denise? Hmmm? Answer me THAT, gurl!! And what's with this kissing Richie Sambora? Are you the ho that sent him dirty pics and made Heather Locklear leave his old ass? It just gets more fucked up and twisted as time goes on, gurl!!
© 2006 BMD

5 Comments:

Anonymous Bea Gass said...

schoolhouse rock.......fucking great! now i've got "Im Just A Bill" running thru my head.

6:16 PM PDT  
Blogger ChiliGurl said...

ROFL!! I've had that.."And we were sufferin' before sufferage...not a woman here could vote no matter what age...till the 19th amendment blah blah blah"...in my head! AUUUUUUUUUGHHHHH!

12:46 AM PDT  
Blogger Brandon said...

Gurl, is that hooker storage unit down there in your basement??

11:17 AM PDT  
Blogger ChiliGurl said...

Naw, gurl!! I have it in the garage. I disguise it as a washer/dryer stack when people come over, hence the iron!!

11:49 PM PDT  
Blogger Bedazzler said...

"Mmm-hhmmm Honey, and you and your 25 dollars is tireder than both of us".
x Marlene Shaw

http://lemaisondebrandon.blogspot.com/

2:12 AM PDT  

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