Wednesday, March 01, 2006

A very special episode

Well folks, it looks like ChiliGurl is out of the picture for a few days at least. She was out riding around town with her lesbian motorcycle gang when she got hit by a city bus, an 18 wheeler, a horse and buggy, and finally a bicycle. She will be missed, yo.

Actually, she was riding her scooter (don't hate on the scooter y'all, she'll kick your ass) and nearly got hit by a car, instead she hit a rock and hurt her hand... She can't type. So now I guess I could say anything I wanted to her and she couldn't reply...but I can't think of anything to say to her that I haven't already said. *shrug*

Am I alone in thinking that the Olympics are totally mind numbingly boring? It's got to be bad when a hi-octane homo like myself can't even get into that ice-dancing crap or whatever it is. I'm sorry, but jazz hands turn me OFF. Oh, but that Johnny Weir kid? love the personality. Sorry 'bout the face though; he's like some sort of cross-breed of Paris Hilton and a horse AND YOU KNOW THAT SHIT IS ENTIRELY POSSIBLE. Bitch likes to ride.

The only thing I liked about the Olympics was the new look of the medals. Very modern, I want one, but it would have to be platinum, with Swarovski crystals that spell out "HOTTIE" or "VAMP" or something equally elegant. Look at how many medals this woman won! One of them is for having Martina Navritilova's haircut, and another one is letting them use her fivehead as a ski slope. For real, she makes Shari Belafonte's head look normal.

Oh well...that's enough hate for one morning... let's all send warm 'n fuzzy thoughts out to the Gurl and hope she gets better soon!

© 2005 CH


Blogger Brandon said...

OMG that sucks. Get well soon, Gurl. Serious question: Can you masturbate?

11:14 AM PST  
Blogger ChiliGurl said...

Thanks, Mr. B!! Gurl, couldn't even get off!! Now that's just sad.

10:35 PM PST  

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