Friday, March 24, 2006

The Queen Bitch is back!

Hey my fans!! I took a couple of days off to unwind and I feel MUCHO better!! I hope Sister Chuck is feeling better after that nasty bug got to him. I heart you, Chuck!! Gurl has my number if she needs anything.

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Honey, it's almost time for Saturday...and you know what that means!! bing-GOH!! I swear to Goddess Alexis Arquette that I will mark each of those damn Korean's heads with my big huge gay purple bingo dauber so the bitches can't win! Watch me!

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And another thing I wanted to bitch about was this website; http://gayweddings.com/

After all of the beautiful things I found there...I found it was a website for RICH GAY MEN.

I mean COME ON...The examples I found were beyond belief! Check this shit out, gurls;

U.S. residents can bid now on a wonderful, exclusive Gay Wedding Starter Kit package (valued at $6,300); the proceeds of which will benefit the DC chapter of PFLAG (Parents & Friends of Lesbians and Gays). Please join us by bidding early and bidding often! Ready to do some research on the package so that you can make an informed bid? Read on!

Gay Wedding Starter Kit
presented by GayWeddings.com
At a time when weddings are estimated to cost $26,000 on average (and even more in metropolitan areas like Washington DC!) and gay marriage still isn't legal in most states, finding the right vendors can take more time than blushing lesbian brides and handsome gay grooms have got to spend.

This 2006 wedding package includes: Wedding consultation, videographer, invitations, a florist, custom web site, and a honeymoon destination! Though the winning bidder will enjoy the most benefit out of this package if s/he is located in the Washington DC area, most services can be enjoyed regardless of one's location in the US!
Estimated value: $ 6,300 / Reserve Price: $2,100 / Buy It Now Price: $7,500.00
Bid Now!
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WEDDING CONSULTATION by GayWeddings.com
Enjoy a two-hour session with one of the experts at GayWeddings.com to help you get started with your wedding planning. Consultation may take place in Dallas, TX, Washington DC or via phone.
Package value: $150
Service Range: Nationwide

NOTICE THIS ONLY
A CONSULTATION IN DALLAS FOR $150!! Per their website!

INVITATIONS by GayWeddings.com
The invitation package includes a $300 credit toward stationery from OutVite, Carlson Craft or Regency Thermographers, featured on TwoBrides.com & TwoGrooms.com
Special Instructions: Package may not be applied toward shipping fees or taxes, may not be combined with any other offer, and is good only on OutVite, Carlson Craft or Regency stationery products.
Package value: $300
Service Range: Nationwide
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FLOWERS by Elegance & Simplicity
Local event designer, Elegance & Simplicity, Inc. was chosen by was chosen by the Washingtonian as one of the best wedding planners in DC in 2005 & 2006 and was featured in Elegant Bride Magazine as one of the best florists in the country! Elegance & Simplicity, Inc. has donated 1 altar arrangement and flowers for the wedding party (to include: the lucky couple and up to 10 attendants or family members). Donation also includes 10% on any additional flowers or services requested.
Special Instructions: Package does not guarantee or include delivery and related fees for any order outside of the Washington DC Metro area. Highest bidder is responsible for this fee.
Package value: $1,500
Service Range: NY-GA
Bid Now!

VIDEOGRAPHY by Lori Bullerdick
Let 7-time Emmy winning television photojournalist, editor and producer, Lori Bullerdick, capture the timeless essence of your special day. Lori's unobtrusive style, keen eye for detail and sensitivity as a storyteller come together as your soulful moments are captured forever.
Special Instructions: Package does not include travel allowance (approx $500-$750), if needed. Highest bidder is responsible for this fee.
Package value: $3,000
Service Range: Nationwide
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WEDDING WEB SITE by Wedding On-Line.com
Bring all of the pieces of your ceremony together with an 18 month Platinum Level listing. Manage and share your ceremony on one site by providing important information to your guests and vendors, manage RSVPs, upload unlimited photos and up to 90 minutes of professionally indexed video from your big day to share with friends and family and more.
Special Instructions: Package may not be combined with any other offer. Additional costs will apply if winning bidder registers for a unique URL.
Package value: $600
Service Range: Nationwide
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HONEYMOON DESTINATION in British Columbia, Canada
Located on Gabriola Island in British Columbia’s famous Gulf Islands, the Inn at Dragons Keep is a 20 minute ferry ride from Nanaimo on Vancouver Island, ranked #1 Holiday Island, North America, by Conde Naste magazine for the last six years in a row. The Inn is a beautifully renovated log structure on stunning waterfront with large public areas for receptions and events. Fly to Vancouver for your first few nights then head over to conveniently located, Gabriola, for your honeymoon in Paradise or plan the entire event (enjoying official legal status!) with us and use your gift certificate as a credit towards the event.
Package: Four nights accommodation, best available room, daily continental breakfast, all taxes and gratuities.
Package value: $750
Service Range: Nationwide
Bid Now!

And you know, I looked at the rings on there and I nearly started crying because I couldn't afford the CHEAPEST one! Bitches, I live an a $900 disabilty payment, my monthly meds cost $500, therapy is $100 a month and let ALONE doctor payments. According he the State Of TEX-ASS, I "make too much money" in my disability to qualify for low cost medical care. And forget the fuck about Texas "Medicaid". Those sorry ass people (and I called several different people) all told me the same damn thing. I "make too much money". In order to qualify, you can only make $560 in income! I say take these lazy damn bitches off the program and get people on it that really need it? How does one make too much money when they have nothing left at the end of the month? I want a hand UP, not a hand out! Makes me want to pull a Madea!! Hallelooyer!!

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Gurl, I am an ordained minister (Doctorate Of Divinity) And I would NEVER sell my soul for some kind of bullshit like that. That, and I only practice in Texas! So, if ya got a same-sex marriage, opposite-sex marriage, renewal of vows, house blessing and baptising a child (herein called a speedbump), then I am the gurl for you. And I come CHEAP! And I do Christian ceremonies, non-Christian ceremonies, spiritul ceremonies and the like. I even have all the wedding, commitment, baptism and house blessing certificates!


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GOD LOVES US ALL!

© 2006 BMD

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

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2:08 PM PST  
Blogger ChiliGurl said...

Yeah and I got your 10 OTHER IRRITATING emails too. All involve some sort of marketing or investment. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND I HAVE NO EXTRA MONEY, DUMB ASS?!?! All of these "schemes" have a hidden catch, and I wan't born yesterday, bitch.

Next time, try your lame-ass attempt on someone who is to fucking stupid to fall for it.

HAVE A NICE DAY!

11:32 AM PST  

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