Monday, March 06, 2006

I'm not gonna write about the Oscars

I'm sick of the Oscars. You know what? I'm going to boycott events that begin with an O, because the Olympics bore me too. I will only make an exception if there's like Oprah On Ice, or Orgasms-Ahoy on Broadway because that's the kinda shit I can go for. OPRAH-GASMs! Oh yeah, I would pay cash money to see that.

So I've seen Brokeback Mountain twice, and I don't care for it. Okay, let me revise that. It's a good movie, but IT'S NOT THE SECOND COMING OF THE LORD JESSICA CHRIST. So the movie was okay, but why do I hate it so much? Because the rest of you 'mos love it, and that pisses me off. Now, if we could just convince homos that we'll be playing the sequel in the voting booths next time we need to elect a president, we'll be making some strides in the equal rights arena. OH FUCK ME! I did NOT just get political. Um, Paris Hilton is 40% water and 58% semen and Tab Energy. Whew, that's much better.

Let me tell you how I managed to see Brokeback twice without paying a single cent. I went to see the latest Harry Potter, and the sound was fucked up. They gave us a coupon to get into another movie for free, so we (me and my man) went to see Brokeback later that day.

Last week I got a phone call after work saying "come downtown for a movie" so I did. I went to a bar downtown and they were showing a copy of BBM that periodically flashed "for oscar consideration blah blah blah" across the bottom every so often. So thanks, gay member of the academy who lives in Austin and is fucking an employee of a 4th street gay bar, for not making me have to pay to reaffirm my opinion of the movie. Good, but not great. It was hilarious at the end though, because they played that super sad (oscar winning) music at the end....AND IT SEGUED INTO A DANCE VERSION! Seriously, I nearly wet myself laughing.

© 2006 CH


Blogger ChiliGurl said...

Gurl, does that mean you're gonna boycott Oilcan Scary's?

10:13 AM PST  

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