Wednesday, March 29, 2006

the Goddesses of the Vitriol

Some of y'all might be wondering how such bitter, life-hating queens such as ourselves can function in the world. Trust me, people do try to take us down every now and then, but no one can touch us while we're under the protection of the gods and goddesses we routinely (and ritually) slaughter things for. There are too many to list, but I thought I'd introduce y'all to a few of them over the next few weeks. Who's first, you ask?? The queen of them all!

Chaka Khan!

I love me some Chaka! Just look at her. Oh Great and Powerful Chaka Khan, I beseech thee! Grant me the strength to withstand the attacks of my enemies; In your name I pray! I FEEL FOR YOU, amen.

Just as day must have night, and Christina must have Britney, so to does our goddess have her own arch nemesis. Behold the face of the evil one!

This creature, known on this dimension as Jocelyn Wildenstein, is trying to co-opt Chaka's very own mojo, but anyone with at least one functioning eyeball can tell you that this. is. not. Chaka. DON'T BE FOOLED, she will eat your soul, and also your Meow Mix!

© 2006 CH


Blogger ChiliGurl said...

I just fell the fuck *OUT LAFFIN!!*

5:46 AM PST  
Blogger ChiliGurl said...

Gurl, I was ALL doing the Chaka rap at the beginning and middle of the song when I saw Jocelyn's face. Thanks, Chuck. I'm good to need another damn year of therapy now. I'll send you the bill, gurl.

2:54 PM PST  

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