Friday, March 17, 2006

Gab With Gurl!!

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Dear Gurl,

Im writing tu you becaus I am unhappy with my girfreind. I met a lady last year who was real nice to me and got me all the stuff I wanted. The girl found out that I was lieing to her and was still on luv with my girlfreind. I told my girfreind I loved the girl with money. My girlfreind found out I had sex with the girl with money and she was mad! She is mean to me. I want to leave my girlfreind and go back to the nice girl who has money. My girlfreind takes care of me. I do not work and want to be a hosewife. I have a kid too. Can you hep me?

Torn for too girls

Dear illiterate dumb ass loser,

Bitch, did you complete the eigth grade? Your grammar is beyond atrocious. Your problem, you stupid cavewoman...is that you are a complete LOSER who depends on everyone else to take care of your sorry ass. The fact that you have a child and claim to be a "lesbian" is a fucking oxymoron, but I doubt you have the mental capacity to look that shit up. My reasoning is this: The chick with money probably only fucked you out of pity. For a chick that has that much money, she can get any bitch she wants.
Look, the reason you are writing me is because you want to go back to the flawless woman who has looks, personality, money and class...which you obviously will never have. So, go crying to you local dollar store and grieve for the shit you would never have had from Nordstrom's anyway.
So what if the current is mean to you? You probably deserve the fucking shit, as whiny as you are.
And as far as money girl goes...women of that high of a caliber DESPISE children. You need to wallow in your own damn pile of shit that you got yourself into and realize that you will never be better than trash.
And on that note...I have a luncheon with friends to attend at Aquarelle. The appetizer alone will cost more than your skainky family makes in a year. Oh, and you need to check into the program RIF!

Love,
Gurl
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© 2006 BMD

3 Comments:

Blogger Bedazzler said...

That's fuckin great. You've inspired me... Next week I must do a "Dear Aunt Stalker" column.
http://lemaisondebrandon.blogspot.com/

7:45 PM PST  
Blogger ChiliGurl said...

Oh, bedazzler...that would be a great idea!! I came up with "Gab With Gurl" out of sheer boredom!! Perhaps you could do a stalker column about your favorite man?? Hmmm? Just an idea. I LOVE your blog, by the way. xoxo Chili

2:12 AM PST  
Blogger Bedazzler said...

Thanks! I am doing the column for next week so don't forget to write in your problems to Auntie.

11:40 PM PST  

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