Thursday, December 29, 2005

Friday Quiz Time, folks!!

This week's trivia answers are: My newphew's band Radio Failure, Chastity Bono's big fat ass on Celebrity Fat Club, my youngest niece's college; Truman State University, the college I was too stupid to get into (due to my math scores), The University Of Texas (HOOK 'EM!!) and the career I left behind because of burnout and disability. Medical Laboratory Worker.
If I could eat something, I would, but I'm afraid it wouldn't stay down very long. EEEEEEEEEEW!!

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© 2005 BMD

I hope it's not the Avian Flu!!

The past couple of days, I've been besieged by a fever, runny nose, icky gooy congestion and the like. Since I live with my elderly rents, they have had it too, making none of us able to get out of bed much. I, being the good daughter, even though I've felt like crap warmed over, did a little bit of housework like laundry, dishes, cleaning out the fridge and doping myself when I can. As I am typing this, my head feels like it's stuffed with cotton, my nose feels like there are ticklers up there and I won't even begin to describe the cough. Luckily, I'll be able to take some Trazodone, Klonopin and whatever OTC stuff in the cabinet that works. I hope I feel better tomorrow, then I'll be able to rant about some stuff that irks me. HUGS to you all!!
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© 2005 BMD

Friday, December 23, 2005

Nothing but LOVE that X-mess day!!

Ya know, my family is really big on having everyone over for X-Mess. The timing, hurriedness, confusion and chaos always seems to add to my stress level. Thank god I have my nerve pills, right?
Well, let me tell you all about a X-Mess I stayed in Austin to be with my friends, who are my family of choice. My family of blood was already going to be doing their thing, so I decided to do mine with my chosen family.
I had friends who were alone on X-Mess for various reasons; it was too far to travel to be with their families, some had been disowned by their families and some of them had personal reasons to stay in Austin.
On the day before X-Mess and X-Mess day, I entered my old #gayaustin chat room and told everybody that wanted to come to my house to eat was MORE than welcome.
My friend Jenn, (haaaaaay sista!) a local DJ working X-Mess that morning, took requests from all of us playing some crayzee stuff for us on the radio station that we all listened to that morning. We LOVED her for that!
I got up super early X-Mess morning and decided to do a HUGE one pot meal for everyone to make sure there would be enough for any of the stragglers that came in during the evening. And yes, my version of Texas Chili has a bunch of beer in it!
Well, gurl...guess what I made? A bigger than life pot of warming Texas chili, crackers, tamales, sour cream, chives and other snackies. Of course, we had cocktails! I think Chuck and I were getting ripped pretty early!! LOL My lady friend Dedi, who has remained a true friend to me all of these years also arrived pretty early too.
I hept hogging the remote and rewinding a cetain scene in this movie till Dedi said "get that remote away from her!", to Chuck and it got to be a joke to get the damned remote away from me!
(yeah, I eventually gave in, but not until we kept making snorting noises every time Jamie Gertz sniffed a line in Less Than Zero).
I'll never give away my chili recipie, but can tell you this: I had less then 6oz of chili left over from that HUGE ass pot I made it in for all of those people who came in and out for a meal and friendship. You know those big round pots that stand about three feet high? Mmhmm...6 ounces left. Normally after a party, you know how you have to clean the mess up? Well, honey...my friends were so wonderful they barely made any mess at all! I think I had everything cleaned up in about 15-20 minutes! Then
Triston comes back a few minutes later...he had forgotten he'd left his cell phone. Little did he know I had put it in a safe place for him. I beleive he knew right then that he could trust me. And that friendship has passed every single test put to us. Same with Chuck. We have never given up on each other. *sigh* I digress, tho.
Any of you who missed it.........well, you missed the event of X-Mess fun, love and companionship with the best people in the world. I am so blessed to have some of these people in my life to this day. And for that, I am one of the luckiest women alive!!
During the day, you could feel SO much love at my place. None of us really had money to buy gifts, but the love shown to each of us and all of us meant more than anything we could have ever bought.
I don't know that I have ever felt that much love in my lifetime. No, it wasn't the love of some woman, it was the love of a bunch of people who loved each other dearly.
I will absolutely never forget those that came over and had a good time. It really meant alot to me to be able to give them a warm meal, a warm, dry place to eat and a loving atmosphere enjoyed by all. Just goes to prove...we ARE family!!

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I didn't forget...

The rest of the holidays my various friends celebrate at this time of the year. So, in no particular order here they are: Happy Kwanzza, Happy Hanukkah and Happy Winter Solstice!! I wish you the blessings of the season, friends. If I have forgotten any other things you guys celebrate, please let me know and I will be more than happy to add your celebration! I embrace every single one of you and love you all dearly. Diversity is the strength that will teach us tolerance and respect for each other. We are one race; the human race.
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© 2005 BMD

Fleas on my dog...

Haaay!! It's time once again for this week's trivia quiz answers! (For those of you who don't know, there really aren't any trivia questions...just stuff that pops into my head during the week) Ok...the answers are: sinfully cheesy Velveeta (formerly ghetto cheese, but now a mainstream item), Klonopin (only thing that works for my panic attacks), Istanbul (I have a very sweet friend originally from there), sweet Texas onions, the Hollywood Bowl, delicious tamales at Christmas, Mexican Wedding Cookies, Project Runway (the gayest shit ever!), blenders and White Water Zest soap! Feliz Navidad, my latin friends!
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Thursday, December 22, 2005

Commercialism!

Hey chirrens! I know I haven't posted much this week. To be honest, it's been pretty damn boring. I got all my X-Mess shopping done, though. And I got everything through the mail!! Mmhmm...you KNOW thas right!
Normally, I buy myself something really big and pricey for X-Mess but since I got the fabulous new computer earlier this year, I got myself a few small things. First I got THIS. Honey, it's her best damn work EVER!! It's a must see. If you don't have it, GET IT! I also got myself THIS, which is great as a collector's item but not that good for practical use. Finally, I got myself THIS. Because hey, after all I've been through the last 2 years I deserve something nice and luxurious! I really want THIS, but it can wait until next year. I'd really like Kim from ANTM in my stocking this year, but I'll have to settle for the picture.
Ya know, this time of year everyone gets all warm and fuzzy, loving and caring and all that. It's too bad we don't act that way all the time, no? We can start now, gurl...you know?
If you don't celebrate X-Mess, have a great whatever you're celebrating!!
If you do, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!
And...Happy Birthday, Jesus. I didn't forget ya, man.
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Photo provided by me, ChiliGurl. And yes, that's me as Santa. © 2005 BMD

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Discreet, odor preventive tree!!

I am SO gonna make this shit next X-Mess to give my family a fucking heart attack! They already think I'm crazy as hell anyway!!
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Story courtesy of Michael K, that hot slut over at DListed

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

The North Pole

Um...more like the south hole! So, I feel so bad for my friends in NYC with this transit strike going on. Two of them couldn't even get to work today. I won't go into the politics of the strike, but I'll put it this way; I'd like to get a baseball bat and get down on some striking skulls! Gurl, then I could drive the bus. Imagine, if you will. Nothing but dance music played on my bus! We'd only go to the Village, Broadway, gay bars, high-end fashion boutiques and anything else we deem fierce! Plus, a wet bar in the back so ya'll can pre-party. And since I quit drinking in July 2004, I will stay the designated driver! Haaaay! Well, it looks like Gay Santa got on the subway and made it to the gay toy depository! I've been a good gurl this year...now gimme a present!! (Like a house in West Hollywood I can retire in!!)

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Sunday, December 18, 2005

Did you study hard?

Sit down, youngin's...it's time for the trivia answers of the week!! This weeks answers are: a warming yule log, refreshing cocktails by jenn (which I totally ordered for my friend Jenn), nasty ass fruitcake and SAD. Which is just sad.
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Sunday, December 11, 2005

THIS is a true patriot?!?!

Oh. No. She. Di-int. Yall, this stuff is SCARY! I can't beleive this...I am pretty speechless for once. Honey, they call us queers criminals, but THIS psycho is allowed to walk around?!?! I'm sleeping with one eye open tonight after reading this.
UPDATE: I've been informed that the above mentioned website is a parody. WHEW!!
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Cervical collar...

Gurl, Liberace called. He wants his shit back!! I wonder if she paid someone to do that or if she ordered one of those tacky-ass "Bedazzlers"?
© 2005 BMD
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Saturday, December 10, 2005

15 Minutes of fame...

And I used my last 30 seconds of it HERE!! Thank you...thank you. Yes, I know...I'm SOOOOO funny...
xoxoxo, Michael K!! © 2005 BMD

I told you I was a bitch!!

Luby's strikes back!

Normally I wouldn't tell this story, but I think it's funny.

I remember a few years ago a friend told me she dated this chick that wanted to go eat at Luby's as a date. For some reason, I still find this hysterical, considering the Luby's "massacre" several years ago was in my hometown of Killeen, Texas. At the time, I lived in Belton, Texas about 4 blocks from the home of the suspect, but that's a story for a later time.
ANYway.....I've had a family member who has been hospitalized off and on the past few weeks in a hospital located about 15-20 miles from here. There is a Luby's in that city. My family has eaten there a couple of times in as many weeks as it is close to the hospital.
To understand how old I am and feel, think about this: We go into Luby's, get our food and sit down. We're eating and I hear a familiar beat above my head. It's that damn song "Sunglasses At Night" by Corey Hart (or whatever his name was.......and whatever happened to HIS career?). I think to myself, "Ok, I can handle this" and proceed to eat my fiber or whatever newly middle-aged folks like myself eat.
That song was followed up by yet MORE 1980's top 40 tunes! Hits from high school!! I then realize that this is not a nightmare but something even more sinister. I'm now officially part of the Luby's crowd. Hell, maybe I might want to get massacred. But no...it keeps going like that damn Energizer bunny. It's scary out here. Help me. Please?
I feel like this is another "special helmet" day.
Granny is going to lie down now. Wake me up when it's time for my Geritol Liquid. © 2005 BMD (Originally posted on myspace.com 10/19/05 @ 17:58)
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Gather round, kids!

I'm actually on the ball today for the trivia quiz answers!! Ok, the answers are: little hottie Kim from ANTM (I'd hit it a million ways to Sunday!), crisp, refreshing Diet Pepsi, yummy nummy Tex-Mex food, BIG ass Texas hair and the Record Bar. Haaay!! It's weekend time, chirrenz! To me, that means nothing good will be on TV!! © 2005 BMD
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Kim from ANTM. This picture just made me blow an ovary!
Photo courtesy of UPN

Shut UP, Nancy!!

You know who really hacks me off? Nancy Grace. That last name is an oxymoron. This zealous, rage-filled condescending nut continually spews her venom five days a week at CNN Headline News. And I thought CNN was a "news" network! Although I can empathize with her pain at the murder of her fiancee' (over 26 years ago, I might add), I don't think she should use her misguided anger to continually bash those who don't share her opinions. I tell you what...she makes Bill O'Reilly look like a teddy bear! While I don't agree with everything O'Reilly says, he at least makes you think. All Nancy does is become judge, jury and executioner to anyone even suspected of a crime! If Nancy Grace were to rule the world (and thank God she doesn't), everyone would be guilty until proven innocent. Just tonight, she dedicated a good twenty minutes on Michael Jackson's move to Bahrain. Why does she consider this newsworthy? Because she never gets tired of spreading her hate, that's why. Her license to practice law has been revoked because of her continued misconduct as a prosecutor. At least that worry has been taken off of our shoulders. I'm just glad I have Greta Van Susteren. She doesn't give her opinions; she relates the stories fairly...even if she is on Faux News Channel. (I spelled it like that for a reason, it's an inside joke) I have a dream. And that dream is that Nancy Grace-less will be taken off of what used to be a decent news channel. That, and I totally want to fling rubber bands at her hook nose. © 2005 BMD (Originally posted on myspace.com 11/17/05 @ 01:15)

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The crazy screaming lady heard voices!!

Oh, NO ma'am!! Gurl...she crayzee! © 2005 BMD (Originally posted on myspace.com 11/21/05 @ 23:17)
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This is the true story...

Of seven bratty drunk kids...picked to live in an updated warehouse... Thank gawd it's OVER!! I'm talking about the Real World Austin on MTV. If my friend Jenn (Haaay Sista!!) hadn't been on the show this season, I would have stopped watching after the third episode. The people that I couldn't stand at the beginning of the season, Melinda and Danny ended up being my favorite two people on the show. Wes is a bastard and Nehemia ended up being a bastard. Johanna needs to go to rehab (I've been there...she needs to go), Rachel needs some serious therapy and medication and Lacey...well...she just needs to go somewhere off of my TV screen. It's hard to beleive that 13 years ago, MTV still had some integrity. I know...I'm getting older and more conservative, but at least the first season cast in New York had outside interests other than drinking and getting arrested. Of course, that cast is now my age. As Heather B. said, "Can you get the phone?!" Ah, memories. © 2005 BMD (Originally posted on myspace.com 11/22/05 @ 21:32)

It's so darksided it won't die!!

So...I was up last night wasting my brain by watching television. I was switching channels when I came to my local NBC affiliate and saw that Jay Leno was going to have Marguerite Perrin on his show!! Oh mah GAWD!! If you didn't see this, all I can say is that I feel sorry for you. Roseanne Barr was on too...I kept laughing because Roseanne kept laughing at Marguerite! And Marguerite made Roseanne look like a Supermodel! Actually, Roseanne looked kinda hawt. Honey, Marguerite literally came out and said that Jay was hotter than a pastrami sammich. I thought I was gonna DIE! Mrs. Perrin was actually pretty funny, to my dismay. I totally expected her to be the freak she was on Trading Spouses! © 2005 BMD (Originally posted on myspace.com 11/30/05 @ 16:36) Thanks to Michael K for the pics!

We KNEW they were aliens...

Ooooh, honey! I was watching Anderson (QUEEN) Cooper on CNN Friday night and they had this story about Scientologists. It turns out that these people are crazier than we thought. Now you know I'm all about freedom of religion, but this is just plain scary!! Gurl...somebody needs to take that damn baby away from Tom Cruise before it goes off like its' father...(which is also questionable!) on things it knows nothing about too! © 2005 BMD (Originally posted on myspace.com 12/5/05 @ 10:13)
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Her head is a hole...

So, Anna NicHOLE Smith is in trouble again. Honey, what I want to know is why this freak is still making news? And why are skainky ass rock stars going off about her appearing drunk?!?! Anyway, I am so embarassed that she is from Texas. She hails from Mexia (pronounced Muh-HAY-Uh), and there ain't a damn thing there (I've been there), but still. Sheesh. Somebody give her a ton of tranquilizers and let her sleep it off for about ten years, okay?!?! Get the story here, and remember kids, you heard it here first!! © 2005 BMD (Originally posted on myspace.com 12/5/05 @ 09.38)

Hot, hawt, hautere!

Hey kids!! The answers to last week's trivia questions are: Nina Hagen, eating lightbulbs, REALLY cute cats (Haaay Win!) and the lovely, delicious Laura Prepon! Dayum, she's HAWT!! I would SO hit it!! © 2005 BMD (Originally posted on myspace.com 12/04/05 @ 21:25) Thanks to cutie-pie Rich at fourfour for pics of those furry babies!Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Just in time for Xmess!

For those people in your life who aren't Christians but need a kick ass fun gift, it's the Magnetic Jesus Dress Up magnets!! Honey, choose outfits that range from biker leather to pink ballerina! I swear, I totally want a room in my house for all the tacky stuff like this, White Trash Palace stuff and the Marguerite Perrin talking bobblehead doll! Ok, I'd have to have 3 rooms...because you just can't be trashy enough! © 2005 BMD (Originally posted on myspace.com 11/30/05 @ 16:07) Thanks to Michael K for the pic!

Friday, December 09, 2005

Let's get started...

Hey, kids! Ya'll know I have been ranting for years. So, I decided to post things I find funny, entertaining, ignunt and just plain wrong. I am an opinionated bitch with my own take on the world and the people in it. I'll be posting some of my older stuff on here so that you can see my own brand of twisted observation.
I want to thank my dear friend Triston for standing by me and encouraging me to put my thoughts out here for people to see. I love you, Boo Peck!. Also, a big ass thank you to that hot slut Michael K over at dlisted for giving me inspiration to go ahead and just be me. Ya'll have got to see his site!
Getting down to business, if you want to comment on what I post, that's all great!! However, I will NOT tolerate racist or homophobic comments. Anything I deem inappropriate or just plain ignunt will be removed.
Now then, let's have some fun, trash things we can't stand, holla for stuff we like, and support our friends in their endeavors, okay? Ok.

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Photo courtesy of Shirley Q. Liquor